To Prevent is always better and cheaper than to fix, treat or cure. Repairing a broken rock can be near impossible. So is Trust and loyalty. I learnt this the hard way, that greatest thing a person can strive for is to “Value Truest and Loyal above all else”.
Nonetheless, we’re human and we falter against our partners.
Trust once broken is much harder to rebuild, however if the person is truly desiring to rebuild it, this can be done over time.
When someone you love or are close to, betrays your trust it is a difficult walk.
First, for yourself you need to forgive them, as forgiveness does not say what they did is okay but it frees you from the burden of carrying that pain with you. Then trust can begin if and when the person accepts responsibility for their actions that broke the trust you had in them, and asks for your forgiveness expressing a desire to rebuild that trust once again.
Then for them to accomplish this, these things will need to be present and consistent over time.
1. Take responsibility
2. Total honesty with you and others going forward
3. Transparency
4. Realize that once trust was broken it will take time to rebuild without pressuring you to trust fully until enough time and effort shows this will truly not occur again.
5. Aware that what they broke they cannot expect to have you trust them immediately without any effort on their part. True apology will result in changed behavior over time allowing you to feel secure in trusting them again.
We all fail and at times do things that hurt those we love and care about and lose their trust in us. However, if appropriate steps are taken in time that trust can be stronger than ever. However, whether it is or not will totally depend on their efforts made to rebuild that trust. Your responsibility for yourself is to forgive them and keep your heart open watching for those efforts.
© Counsellor Francis Pinwilliams
